I am working on this with my own littles, too. Some days it's so hard, but I can see how my 5-year-old is already so much more brave and confident and assertive than I was able to be (not only at her age, but well beyond), and it's so worth it. Thank you for sharing.
Wonderful words and parenting. This is one of those "I wish I could go back" moments for me. I would do things so much differently with my youngest. Bravo.
This is beautiful, Sarah! The space you give and the room to grow you are gifting your child will continue to shine in her as the years roll on. I love the ending,
"She is
Our greatest
Teacher,
This human
We have
Grown."
Very lovdely. These are wisdom words of love, and I wish you all deepest blessings on your journey together.
Yes to all of it and especially this, "A small part of you— the part that knew how to scream when you first drew breath— Starts to whisper the beginnings of a question that becomes a kind of beckoning." We come into this life knowing how to feel and express. it is ironed out of us, then we need to let the fabric of our lives wrinkle again in the simple pleasure of feeling.
This is an incredible and beauitful poem, Rachel. LIke Kaitlin, I love these lines "Starts to whisper the beginnings of a question that becomes a kind of beckoning
Or maybe a reckoning."
Wow! Your poem and words are amazing and so insightful and perceptive. I venture that this poem is the product of someone who feels very deeply! Thank you for sharing!
Being fully with the feeling of the moment, completely in it! Love it and love this, "and forget, for a moment, that there was ever life before this moment, and wonder how there could ever be life after."
I love this wonderful poem, A. And I want to walk with you right down to the seacoast here in New Hampshire and cheer as you dive in, or join the various circle of folks who are cold water dippers. And if I can't be there, to read about it again in some splendid poem you create so freely!
When I was still a Christian, one of the things that comforted me when I was anxious was to imagine God holding my hand, so this really spoke to that younger part of me. Thank you.
This is so beautiful, Alexandra. It is lyrical and so sweetly song like, reading like a prayer and blessing for the peace it surely brings. Shalom to you.
We try
To let her
Feel
Her frustrations.
We try
Not to
Belittle -
Minimise -
Make light of.
In the same way
We love
For her
To feel
Her joy -
Her delight.
And in
Allowing her
Her feelings,
We are reminded
To allow
Our own.
She is
Our greatest
Teacher,
This human
We have
Grown.
I am working on this with my own littles, too. Some days it's so hard, but I can see how my 5-year-old is already so much more brave and confident and assertive than I was able to be (not only at her age, but well beyond), and it's so worth it. Thank you for sharing.
So lovely to hear this - our girl is 1 and half, and I'm looking forward to watching this evolution in her too.
Nice.
space. Good stuff to give. (& get)
Beautiful ❤️
Wonderful words and parenting. This is one of those "I wish I could go back" moments for me. I would do things so much differently with my youngest. Bravo.
Thank you Karri 💜 Little by little, this is how we develop, one generation to the next.
This is beautiful, Sarah! The space you give and the room to grow you are gifting your child will continue to shine in her as the years roll on. I love the ending,
"She is
Our greatest
Teacher,
This human
We have
Grown."
Very lovdely. These are wisdom words of love, and I wish you all deepest blessings on your journey together.
You Know
You don’t slouch; you take shorter steps
You know you are prettier when you smile
You know he’s only saying it because he likes you
You go to the dance because you were invited
You won’t say that you don’t want to, that you aren’t ready
You don’t let anyone know
You don’t tell a soul, after all
You must have done something, said something, looked some kind of way, the way you are *supposed* to look
You are an expert at looking this way
You listen and react the way you were taught
You are praised for this expertise, this gift
Of knowing how to make others comfortable
You don’t question this responsibility until slowly, gradually
A small part of you— the part that knew how to scream when you first drew breath—
Starts to whisper the beginnings of a question that becomes a kind of beckoning
Or maybe a reckoning
That still takes years, decades to decipher
But eventually is loud enough for to hear over the din of rules and manners and responsibilities
So that slowly, gradually,
You begin to learn how to feel.
a whisper becomes a beckoning and a reckoning--hell yes!
"The part that knew how to scream when you first drew breath"-- that line absolutely took me out. This is so powerful!
Oooooooh Rachel, this lands deeply for me!! Beautiful and brutal - as Glennon Doyle says - BRUTIFUL! Well done.
And thank you!
Yes to all of it and especially this, "A small part of you— the part that knew how to scream when you first drew breath— Starts to whisper the beginnings of a question that becomes a kind of beckoning." We come into this life knowing how to feel and express. it is ironed out of us, then we need to let the fabric of our lives wrinkle again in the simple pleasure of feeling.
Definitely both a beckoning and a reckoning, I think. This is so powerful.
thank you for your clarity and courage.
phuq the rules and manners and responsibilities straight to hell.
“a question that becomes a kind of beckoning
Or maybe a reckoning”
Yes!
((((slow clap)))) Amazing. This was outstanding.
This is an incredible and beauitful poem, Rachel. LIke Kaitlin, I love these lines "Starts to whisper the beginnings of a question that becomes a kind of beckoning
Or maybe a reckoning."
Wow! Your poem and words are amazing and so insightful and perceptive. I venture that this poem is the product of someone who feels very deeply! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much, Larry.
You are welcome!
"You're allowed to feel
what you feel."
But what if
what I feel
is nothing?
What if
what I feel
is everything?
What if this tension
tears me into tectonic plates,
an earthquake in my body- mind?
What then? Am I allowed to feel
the things that don't make sense to me
or you or them or anyone?
Am I allowed to rip apart
and break, destroy, and tremble?
So good, yes. Thank you for sharing!
Yes. And maybe (hopefully) you'll realise you are mighty, and you can handle it 💜
Oh yes, especially the things that don't make sense!
Oof. I know this tension well. Thank you for sharing.
I really felt this one, Lisa. It speaks to my own experience so well.
Yes! Everything and nothing. I have had a lot of that lately.
I love this poem, Lisa! And your questions and your wonderings! These lines resonated so powerfully for me:
"What if this tension
tears me into tectonic plates,
an earthquake in my body- mind?
What then? Am I allowed to feel
the things that don't make sense to me
or you or them or anyone?
Am I allowed to rip apart
and break, destroy, and tremble?"
What a gift it is to read this splendid poem!
Thanks so much!
My un-pedicured toes notice the
changing seasons in details I would
other wise miss:
dewey grass
sticky popsicle puddles
hot asphault
fresh mulch
grimy pollen piles
newly dug soil.
What a gift to let my feet be free to feel.
I love this imagery!
Both feeling and grounding; two powerful gifts.
I feel it
The heaviness,
The saddness
In my body
The weight of it
The shape of it.
I feel it
The lightness,
The brightness,
In my body.
The joy of it
The promise of hope.
I feel it
All the things,
All together,
All at once.
Both/and,
Hand in hand.
All together,
All a jumble,
A beautiful mess.
In my body
I feel it.
Yes! Yes! Both and! Absolutely
'both/and
Hand in hand'
💜💜💜
My favourite part, too!
Yes it is a beautiful, wonderful, innocent, crazy mess
This is the second part of a two part poem I wrote last night that feels right for today's prompt:
I want to crash
into the cold ocean and gasp
as it catches my breath.
I want to feel the electric current
of my entire body
as I try to remember
how to breathe and how to swim.
I want the rush of waves
to shake my shoulders
and drown out the rest of the world.
I want to shiver and scream
and forget, for a moment,
that there was ever life before
this moment, and wonder
how there could ever be life after,
and then I want to walk,
with shaking legs, back
onto solid land.
Being fully with the feeling of the moment, completely in it! Love it and love this, "and forget, for a moment, that there was ever life before this moment, and wonder how there could ever be life after."
you captured such a particular feeling so beautifully. i will remember this one. Thank you!
Wow. Powerful as always.
I can feel all of that.
Oooh I love this. I feel more alive reading it.
Your poem is the epitome of being in the moment, no before, no after, just now!
I love this wonderful poem, A. And I want to walk with you right down to the seacoast here in New Hampshire and cheer as you dive in, or join the various circle of folks who are cold water dippers. And if I can't be there, to read about it again in some splendid poem you create so freely!
I would love that dearly. You are already one of my biggest cheerleaders, and I'm so grateful.
Eastview
Our eyes are drawn eastward,
or maybe it’s hopeward,
looking with our hearts, too,
for some glimmer
or possibility onto which
we can hang our dreams.
On the face of it,
life seems to be losing,
as death taunts us
with its victories;
yet somewhere
deep in our bones,
a candle flickers
in the darkness,
beckoning us
toward each other,
if not tomorrow.
Squeeze our hand,
O holy one,
so that we have
an undeniably palpable sense
of your presence
in this storm,
and turn our focus toward
those who walk beside us,
so that we know
we’re not alone.
Thump, thump,
thump, thump;
help us feel the heartbeat.
When I was still a Christian, one of the things that comforted me when I was anxious was to imagine God holding my hand, so this really spoke to that younger part of me. Thank you.
'or maybe it's hopeward' 🥹💜
Always, your poems speak to my soul. Thank you.
Thank you.
I was trained from a very young age
not to trust my feelings.
Told they weren’t right, too much,
that I was overly sensitive, defective.
I learned to tuck away, stuff down, relegate
them to the far corners of my being.
Logic as the linear mind became the
dominate force that ruled my life.
Overbearing, yes even tyrannical.
And I suffered.
With addiction.
With dysfunctional living.
With being someone I was not.
With seeking something outside myself
to fill this gabbing hole within.
.
Today my life journey is all about
reuniting with my cavernous belly
opening to my innocent heart, loving myself.
Feeling all the misplaced emotions.
the veiled, hidden and vanquished.
Reacquainting myself with my organic
and delicate sensitive nature.
Blossoming into my inborn instinctual
animal that I am, intuitive and connected.
Realizing that I don’t need to escape
nor transcend any feeling, it's a process.
They are all guests in my house and
have a place at my table.
I don’t need to identify with them,
only to have a conversation.
Over time I have come to recognize
my sensitivities have been
my superpower all along.
So beautiful!
Sensitive superheroes unite!!
“Blossoming into my inborn instinctual
animal that I am, intuitive and connected.
Realizing that I don’t need to escape
nor transcend any feeling, it's a process.”
Both beautiful and brutal; brutiful.
Love it, "brutiful"
First person I heard use this word was Glennon Doyle.
Amen - sounds like we grew up in the same home - yet we find the courage to keep journeying and reuniting with our inner selves ....
I am still reclaiming and learning to appreciate my sensitivity too, and I love the calm but defiant nature of this, Julie. Beautiful.
A. thanks for seeing both the calm and the defiant., That is how it felt when I wrote it.
I found shalom
In my sadness
Who taught me to care for loss
I found shalom
In my anger
Who taught me to fight for justice
I found shalom
In my fear
Who taught me to listen to warning
I found shalom
In my joy
Who taught me to be fully here
I found shalom
In it all
When I learned how to feel it
Wholly, and holy
"Wholly, and holy" - so beautiful.
Yes, yes, yes! Our feelings teach us. "Wholly and holy"
What lovely and calming words. I echo Larry's sentiment that it feels like a blessing.
This is so beautiful, Alexandra. It is lyrical and so sweetly song like, reading like a prayer and blessing for the peace it surely brings. Shalom to you.
The headshrinkers favorite probe
and
The Godfather of Soul's fervent retort.
two different paths to
the same cash cow.
Quite the word,
that "feel".
Something happens perceived as threatening.
Emotion responds
Instantly—
Anxiety,
Fear,
Hopeless disappointment,
Gut wrenching grief.
I feel the fullness of it.
It hits me hard and consumes me.
Looking it square in the face, I will myself to say
“I see you (fear, grief, anxiety, disappointment….)”
I go with it far enough until I reach a safe distance,
Far enough that I understand it’s path,
Where it will take me.
I choose not to trust myself completely to it,
To go to the edge maybe, but not to yield to it fully.
I stop,
Take a step back in my mind,
Activate logic,
Get my bearings,
Take stock of the situation.
Is it true?
Should I be afraid?
Do I need to be in fight or flight mode?
Are things really that bad? or,
Is something from the past making it feel worse than it is?
Past experience turned something innocuous into terrifying trigger?
Or opening an old wound activating past trauma?
I B r e a t h e.
In
And out.
Slowly
I shift my focus to something in the moment,
I pour myself a cup of tea, warm water steaming,
Feeling the hot cup in my hands,
spreading its warmth inside me,
I watch gossamer clouds flying across heavenly blue,
I feel the gift of soft fur and warm presence snuggled beside me,
I see the sun sparkling through the trees,
lighting up leaves,
captivating plays of light and shadow
I hear the laugh of a child,
The melody of birdsong, call and response,
I feel love in the hug from a dear one.
I feel the relief of a sweet breeze on my face,
And marvel at the shifting masterpiece of sunset watercolors painting across the previously gray and melancholy skies.
The shift in focus helps me realize in addition to the feeling that might carry me away,
I am also still able feel wonder at beauty,
Still feel the Gift of being alive.
I acknowledge the Truth of multifaceted feelings,
A Truth which tempers.
Life is rarely, if ever, just about feeling only one emotion.
When I feel overwhelmed by the emotion of the moment,
When I feel like my life is only all grief,
Or anxiety,
Or fear,
Or hopelessness,
I am denying the Truth of the spectrum of emotions which balance perspective,
Which allow Life to go on,
Even though maybe in only infinitesimally tiny steps.
My emotions are real and valid.
They can be protective,
Sometimes.
I need to let them protect me.
I choose to feel them.
I do not want to deny them, but
When I am safe,
I seek to feel them take their place amongst the backdrop of the full rainbow of emotions
Allowing room for me to feel
Hope.
i never used to feel
now i feel everything
and i hate it
.
little oval bits of chalk of dust
took away the feel
from my mind
from my skin
from touch
from torture
.
it was blessed
and necessary
and stagnating
.
it froze me in time.
it gifted me time.
.
time to gather my defenses and shore up
the castle walls that were
crumbling frantically before my eyes
.
so in the cold i was biding my time and
gathering my strength.
Pouring it into hidden pools
deep, warm, and waiting.
.
Then I thawed.
.
now i’m defenseless
/but not entirely./
.
i feel everything.
discomfort.
ruin.
hope.
electricity.
.
/your skin upon my skin now is
a revelation
fizzing, bursting, bits of shivers
each hair standing up
at attention./
.
my mind is sore from
the use of muscles
that had atrophied and withered when i was
frozen.
.
I run hot now.
In confrontations with myself
in the longing
in the despair
in the freedom that thrills my bones
.
i never used to feel
now i feel everything
and i don’t love it
But i am still here.
.
filling my cup from own wells.
training my mind in the warm sun.
.
maybe there will be a time again
to rest and recover and not feel
but it’s not right now.
.
Right now
i am growing.
i am pouring into myself and
i am pouring out to give.
.
what a gift.
I FEEL you! Through it all, is it a gift!
"What a gift" is true of this poem as well.
Feel
the twinge in your gut:
a thorn snags on your new shirt
vines reach toward the rose
"....Don't u know..."
🙂
Beautiful words Kaitlin. I feel calmer…and taller from reading them 🤍
I agree Ange - thank you for this permission to take up space Kaitlin 💜
F E E L
You feel that discomfort?
The mismatch between what you’re feeling and what you sense your duty to be?
The inner whisper that gets squashed by the louder voices of expectation?
The tug you’ve become an expert in overriding to keep the ‘peace?’
She’s a quiet wisdom.
She’s your ally, your advocate.
She won’t force herself into the arena.
But keep company with her and you’ll grow in familiarity with her and her faithfulness.
Trusting her is uncomfortable and might lead to disappointing others in the moment,
But she holds your long term good in her heart.
A space of safety to *feel*, without shame.
Every screamed and whispered syllable of your needs heard, acknowledged.
There is strength in sitting in the discomfort with her and leaning in to listen to her message.
The message that seeks to connect your body to your mind, reminding your soul of its worth.
Ahhh discomfort and discontent, yes amazing allies. Leaning into HER message for there is amazing wisdom there.
"Every screamed and whispered syllable" being heard just feels so loving to me (the whole poem does, though, really).
love this- I really connect with your words
I'm so glad. Thank you for your encouragement :)