Rhythms of Reciprocity
part two, beyond algorithms & empires
Hi friends,
Welcome to part TWO of our new series, Beyond Algorithms & Empires!
Read part one below:
Last week was about returning to earth, dirt, Aki, the spaces that birthed us. We live beyond algorithms & empires when we come back to who we are.
This week we are focusing on rhythms of reciprocity.
The etymology of reciprocity literally speaks to this movement of to and fro, backwards and towards. In reading this, you can feel the dance, exactly what reciprocity teaches us—can we stay connected to ourselves and to one another at the same time?
Yes.
And that’s how we live beyond algorithms, beyond empire.
3 aspects of reciprocity:
with our child selves
with one another
with Mother Earth
We practice reciprocity with our child selves all the time, whether we realize it or not. You know those moments when you are deeply triggered by something but you don’t know why? Maybe you’re a parent and you realize your kids are the same age you were when you experienced some deep trauma, or you interact with a friend and things you’ve not felt in years suddenly rise to the surface.
Mine shows up as this immobilizing fear that creeps up from my innermost being when I least expect it, usually destabilizing any forward movement I’ve created (especially in things like climbing/movement).
When we are confronted with our child selves, it’s often because they are trying to tell us something. What if we saw that moment as a conversation, as an opportunity to meet ourselves in the different stages of our life? The reciprocity in this relationship creates healing and sustainable growth. Notice it next time, practice it, see what happens.
Next, we practice reciprocity with one another. Maybe kinship, reciprocity, and solidarity are all linked? Maybe in order to understand how we belong to one another, we first need to honestly answer if we belong to one another.
Do I believe in kinship, that we are tethered? Do I believe that there’s a sacred dance back and forth between your existence and mine? Do I believe that solidarity happens because we choose to listen to one another?
Yes. That’s why I am here.
It’s why I write and lead writing workshops, it’s why I believe in the collective power of our words as medicine.
We are in a deeply fractured time when it comes to our relationship with one another. We find every dividing line possible and we erase the chalk and use permanent markers instead. We are trying to sever our kinship ties to one another, and unfortunately, we can’t.
We need one another. And if we are dependent upon healing and reciprocity with our child selves, we are definitely dependent upon healing with one another as well. It’s all connected.
But we begin with stories.
We begin with liminality.
We begin right here.
If you want to learn about someone who practiced this kind of reciprocity and solidarity in extraordinary ways, look to Alice Wong, disabilities activist and author who passed away this weekend. May we continue on in this important work in her honor.
And lastly, we move beyond the powers of algorithms and empires when we practice reciprocity with Segmekwe, Mother Earth. Listen, it’s Native American Heritage Month (as is every month because we are always here!), so you don’t have to look far to find books by Indigenous authors that teach this in everyday life.
Our experience as Indigenous peoples is about reciprocity with Mother Earth—not power over, but power with. She holds and tethers us, teaches us who we are, reminds us of what belonging is.
I’m sure many of you have read Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer, a perfect example of a book that shows us how to practice reciprocity.
Look to the global work of Indigenous peoples to see how these practices have taken place throughout the years, but also, feel empowered that you possess everything you need to care for your relationship to the earth.
Begin exploring this dance between who you are and what the world speaks to you, between who you’re becoming and who the creatures of the earth are becoming.
You possess everything you need to care for your relationship to the earth.
Thank you for exploring reciprocity with me. Below are two ways in which this is explored through art—the first a cover of a Radiohead song by Phoebe Bridgers and Arlo Parks—expressing the relationship between one another.
And the next a gorgeous new short film by Leif Vollebekk featuring Aurora. The storytelling is gorgeous and embodies this dance, this two and fro, back and forth between all of us, our dreams, our visions, who we are becoming. Enjoy!
Note to paid subscribers: our writing session this coming Friday is cancelled due to scheduling conflict. I’ll be sharing three December writing dates soon!
My latest paid post is below. If you’d like to become a paid subscriber, you’ll be able to read stories like this and more!
I was recently interviewed with the CAC for their Learning How to See podcast.
One of my favorite books about all these things is "Fresh Banana Leaves" by Jessica Hernandez. It is SO GOOD! Thank you for all your thoughts here. So good.
Brought out the journal again! So much good food for thought. Thank you for these essay, Kaitlin!