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Nancy E. Holroyd, RN's avatar

Ritual Interrupted and Reformed

In the morning when I rise

to a still too quiet house,

I remember and mourn

for the ritual interrupted

by death.

A young woman in need of

routine.

No longer here for the ritual

of waking and taking her pill.

Active waiting while dressing

and starting her day.

Every day the same routine

Until it became a ritual,

an active prayer of beginning.

Bless my day,

Bless my parents.

She is no longer here.

The emptiness overwhelming,

the start of new routines.

The days of walking upstairs,

Walking to the medicine cabinet…

Remembering the need is no longer there.

Calander routine gone,

Breakfast routine imploded.

No need to make ice cubes,

Tears fall.

Gradually new routines

take the place of old…

Sadness unfolds and abates…

Stillness wraps around the soul…

The dawn breaks…

And on silent wings…

She appears to say she is happy

where she now resides.

In memory of Sheila Cailyn April 1987 – October 2023

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Kaitlin Curtice's avatar

♥️♥️♥️

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Margaret Somerville's avatar

Thank you for sharing with us the routine turned ritual then imploded ritual - which then leads to new routines and to appearance. Sending light.

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Nancy E. Holroyd, RN's avatar

Thank you, Margaret. I appreciate the sending of light.

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Becky Schmidt's avatar

such a beautiful picture of how grief works--weaving it's way into those every day moments. such an honoring poem!

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Nancy E. Holroyd, RN's avatar

Becky, I appreciate your reinforcement of how my grief process unfolded. Thank you.

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Jane Anderson's avatar

Lovely Nancy. The ritual of caring for another. 🩵

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Nancy E. Holroyd, RN's avatar

Ah, yes, Jane. There is the ritual of caring for another (and that flows both ways), loss, and reassurance in the end.

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Colleen's avatar

Love this….. filled with truth and life and memories…. And hard changes …. And sending light 🥰

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Nancy E. Holroyd, RN's avatar

Colleen, The light you send is much appreciated, as are your other words.

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Chuck's avatar

"New routines take the place of old"

.

"Gradually"

.

Yup.

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

This is so lovely, sweet and tender, Nancy. Your weaving ritual, grief and loss together is so splendid. One of our dearest friends has taken care of a partner and a mother for over 7 years, and even in their passing still finds each day full of the pull to take care, even after their passing from this team. Thank you for your empathetic and compassionate heart. ❤️

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Nancy E. Holroyd, RN's avatar

Thank you, Larry

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A. Wilder Westgate's avatar

Waking in the still-dark or early light,

my favourite way to ease into the day is

slow, and full of quiet. I try to rise

while the rest of the house is still, a spell

I get to break myself, along with the dawn,

along with the chorus of bird song.

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Margaret Somerville's avatar

the spell you get to break!

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Brenda Curtice's avatar

“A spell I get to break myself.”

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Brenda Curtice's avatar

While touring a cultural center in India I delighted in discovering how Hindu women rose early before the others to light the lamps as a way to welcome the gods.

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A. Wilder Westgate's avatar

That's so lovely.

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Nicole Boehrig's avatar

Yup! Loved that line, too!

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

I love this, A! “along with the quiet of a bird song.” My partner has the Merlin bird app and loves using it to know which bird is singing, and delights in telling me! Sing on, friend!

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A. Wilder Westgate's avatar

I have the app, too! I love being able to name who I'm hearing.

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Margaret Somerville's avatar

I turn my chair forty-five degrees

That is enough to set it apart

From the way I sit to answer my emails

To eat my oats steeped overnight

To listen to the Daily

“Here’s what you need to know today.”

A swivel to face the rising sun

The angle changing with the seasons

And I am set apart

In my same chair

Now ready to breathe the day into being

I travel up the dawning ray and down another

To where it lands on my sister in her chair

Reading of ritual

Writing of the tie that binds

Listening for the voices that come

In tones as different as the bleating sheep

And I rest in the return of sacred practice

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Christian Totty's avatar

I love the phrase: "I travel up the dawning ray and down another." ❤️

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Brenda Curtice's avatar

Breathing the day into being…I like how this portrays our participation in life…which is itself a privilege and gift.

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Nicole Boehrig's avatar

Ooo “rest in the return of sacred practice” powerful!

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

This is a marvelous poem, Margaret! I love how you use the same chair and its positioning ad it relates to perspective, perception and philosophical musing!

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Barbara Chaapel's avatar

Ritual

I wake to the sound of my husband grinding whole beans

in the kitchen.

He comes to the bedroom door to hand me a cup of coffee

and I taste Guatemalan mountainsides.

I hear the sound of the newspaper being thrown from a car

and hitting the sidewalk

(no longer paper boys on bikes but paper men in cars).

Wrapping my fingers around my coffee cup

(the one with the downy woodpecker pecking a tree trunk painted on it is my favorite)

I walk downstairs to slide open the door to the deck.

I stand at the door greeting the birds—

usually the cardinal flashing red, and catbirds with their black caps

splashing in the bird bath.

Carolina wrens munching on the suet cake,

tiny rusty-capped chipping sparrows choosing seeds,

and a blue jay screams on the deck railing looking for peanuts.

I turn on my Merlin app to hear who else is in my congregation—

just now perhaps spring warblers.

I watch the squirrels scampering in the trees, acrobats jumping

from one high leafy platform to another;

no one ever catches them but the branches,

and those are sure-handed.

I move to the couch and Marty crawls onto my lap,

first kneading,

then settling into a meatloaf and purring,

rubbing his silky sable head into mine.

I feed him, clean his box, give him fresh water.

My husband turns on the small lamp on the kitchen table,

the lamp that was my mother’s,

and reads the Philadelphia Inquirer—

every section in order:

news, local, entertainment, business, even sports.

(though sections have combined as the paper collapses).

He reads every section, page, word.

Sometimes he reads an item aloud to me.

The first thing I think of when I hear ritual is church,

having practiced that ritual since childhood and

through fifty years of ministry.

Every seventh sabbath day.

When to pray, when to stand, when to sing, when to be silent

(though for Presbyterians that is not often).

But the meaning of these acts is fading for me,

or more like creeping away on little cat’s feet.

Leaving great spaces and silences

for something else.

Perhaps these dear morning acts draw the outline

for the something

that waits to be colored in.

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

I love this creative, engaging and fun poem. As I got to the end and saw “ fifty years of ministry” I said” ah, yes, of course.” Pastors can often have a poetic knack and vision, as you clearly do!

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Brenda Curtice's avatar

Such a welcoming poem—the sounds, the fragrance of ground coffee beans, the delight of birds, the coolness of your mug in hand… you’ve awakened all our senses. I like how you stirred in a bit of humor to balance the changes in your spiritual journey.

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Margaret Somerville's avatar

You have drawn the outline so powerfully for the something that waits to be colored in - and I feel as if this poem is part of that coloring in.

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Jane Anderson's avatar

Beautiful! Love that last line.

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Claire's avatar

I am good

With morning rituals

Sneaking downstairs before children wake

A dip in the cold tub

Lighting a candle

Making a coffee

Writing some words

All a prayer.

But

As the day passes

The noise and busyness increase

I loose the sense of rituals

Or maybe just

The ability to notice and name it.

But I know

That in the morning

I'll rise and slip into my rituals again

My morning ritual

Step by step

That grounds me in the moment

In the day

In this life I am living.

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Margaret Somerville's avatar

I think that's just it - it's just the ability to notice and name it, which we can do in this beautiful space, which you are doing!

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

This is beautiful, Claire. You draw the beauty of the morning ritual so well, and its importance in the grounding of your day. Thank you for sharing this lively poem.

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Vanessa Wallace's avatar

Day 3: Ritual

Healing is ritual

Whose alter is decorated

With candles of intention

Gathered shells of previous selves

Photos that capture a new possibility

Offerings to parts of self that were abandoned

Stones we agreed to no longer throw at ourselves

Drawings in crayon, our own children

The most devout believers

In our humanity.

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

Vanessa, this is a beautiful poem, moving and tender. It is so full of remarkable lines. @Healing is ritual/whose alter is decorated/with candles of intention…”and “ drawing in crayons. Our own children/the most devout believers/in our humanity.” Your poem is sweet testimony to live and connection. What a gem!

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Karen Mawyer's avatar

Summer Morning Ritual

It's all about the senses -

Watching for the dawn

Breathing in the new day

Feeling the cool, fresh air

Hearing the birds begin to sing,

And the far off sound of a plane, or a car, or a siren,

Sometimes cows, a rooster, a donkey, a flock of geese.

Sanctified sameness.

The newly mowed garden, still there.

The leaves of the trees, the flowers.

A squirrel circling up a maple.

This place.

These fellow creatures.

This air.

This life.

My life.

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Becky Schmidt's avatar

sanctified sameness--I'm going to be chewing on that one. I love it

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Karen Mawyer's avatar

Thanks, Becky

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Brenda Curtice's avatar

Thank you for the phrase “sanctified sameness”, I will ponder it today — the past is behind, the future not yet, but this moment, this Now is sanctified!

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Margaret Somerville's avatar

Yes - an awareness of all our senses engaged!

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

This is very nice, Karen. I love the blending of the dawn with ritual in such a creative way. Your poem also invokes for me stillness, and the necessity of moving mindfully through the day.

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Karen Mawyer's avatar

Thanks, Larry.

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j.h.kucher's avatar

A Ritual for the Consecration of The Breakfast

On the morning of the day she was to go to work,

she took the oatmeal

and cooked it.

And when she had blessed it

and given thanks,

she said to herself

"I do this

in remembrance

of those who made this meal possible

and the families

they feed

with their labor".

And in the same manner

she took the coffee

and brewed it

and said to herself

"this is the cup of my energy,

I do this -

as often as I drink it

in remebrance

of the family I feed

with my labor".

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Kaitlin Curtice's avatar

love this!

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

This is truly superb. I love how you take the communion words of institution and make them real in the context of daily life, and as a ritual of gratitude.

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Jane Anderson's avatar

Ritual- an act that tethers us to a place, a moment, a person; that gives meaning to a place and time. A way to set space for things that may come.

(For context, my prior work was a funeral director at a holistic funeral home.)

Unlocking the door, walking in, I set down my things at my desk.

Feeling into the quietness of the space I walk through this little 100 year old home - now funeral parlor - and gather up any flower bouquets to refresh, straighten the urns on the shelves and make sure all is ready to hold the presence of the grief, the love, the stories of those that walk through our door.

I make a cup of tea and take it back to my desk where I take out my laptop and turn it on.

I light the small candle, surrounded by stones, that is held in a dish on my desk. A small light of honoring to this work.

Lastly, before going through the night’s emails, I light a bundle of lavender and sage and walk through the house clearing the space for the day anew, smudging any passing coworkers before they to start their day.

A moment of time, a moment of breath. And now the phone begins to ring.

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Brenda Curtice's avatar

Lighting the candle to honor this work…I appreciate this so much.

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Rachel Louise's avatar

When you were infants,

We placed you in your cribs

Back is best, we knew

To darken the room,

Leaving the soft glow

Of merry-go-round images projecting

Cows jumping over moons

With lullabies, a rainbow of languages,

Telling you it was safe to close your eyes

You were not alone.

Years later, only one of us

Tucks you in at night

Though you are nearly 11

Nearly old enough to do this yourself

Old enough to understand

The body’s need for the ritual of rest

Keeps us alive and moving

Even when you ask, five more minutes,

Maybe ten?

Nearly old enough to understand

Our world often leaves us

Tired, confused, resenting unfairness.

But the secret I will share is this:

I am not nearly old enough either—

We never are, I don’t think—

To comprehend the pain of

Abandonment, of betrayal

Of the apathy of those who leave.

Still, I will tuck you in

Continue to see you through

The winding down of the day

And into the peace of the night,

Stroking your hair, adjusting the covers

Tight like a burrito

As you always asked, still ask.

For I will always be here

Your ritual of rest, of safety

Of love everlasting.

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Katie Spring's avatar

"But the secret I will share is this: / I am not nearly old enough either" ❤️ you weave love and wonder and grief so beautifully through this poem.

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

Ritual

^

Quiet descends upon the house,

rooms dark except for this cluttered desk,

goose neck light trying its best

to inspire a poem.

Word puzzles, random lists,

photographs tucked away safely

in the forgotten closets

of this fragile heart.

Waiting, waiting, waiting,

for the muse

or its fickle cousin,

spirited inspiration,

to produce a poem,

a song,

a sentence

a phrase,

poetic detritus

in a land

where every word

seems definitive,

identifying,

explosive,

toxic.

This strange ritual

of writing,

of poems only

meant to be hidden.

Occasionally sneaking out

of the house of insecurity.

To breathe, to dance, to sing

Even where there is no one

left to listen.

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Margaret Somerville's avatar

I had a professor whose response to deep questions was - that will take a desk and a light bulb. You have conjured that for me. The desk and the light bulb, by which he meant deep research, but here is waiting for those cousins to visit. Lovely!

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

A wise professor, for sure! Thank you Margaret!

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A. Wilder Westgate's avatar

"Word puzzles, random lists, photographs tucked away safely in the forgotten closets of this fragile heart." I love this, Larry.

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

Thank you, friend!

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Sarah Hope Guppy's avatar

I love how your home is held in such sacredness in your poem today Kaitlin 💜 And the line 'too often racing from the house

and forgetting ourselves

along the way' is so relatable!!

Candle lit.

Breath drawn -

Released -

Drawn in again.

Place cards

To heart -

Wombspace -

Third eye -

Wherever the

Inner Knowing

Might arise from.

And pick.

Guidance flows -

Synchronicity shows -

And something -

Hope, trust, peace -

As needed,

Is restored.

Reflection

And, eventually,

Integration follow.

Ritual complete.

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

This is a beautiful, rhythmic and enchanting poem, Sarah. It feels spiritual in the best of ways, and flows so easily and seamlessly. Thank you for sharing!

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Sarah Hope Guppy's avatar

Ah this encouragement warms my heart Larry - especially your sense of the spirituality of the piece 💜 Thank you.

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Julie Schmidt's avatar

Most mornings, depending on the skies,

before first light or birdsong,

I step outside to find the silvery moon.

She is never just one thing,

nor in one place.

Not light, not dark,

not full, not empty.

She is all of it,

always changing,

always becoming.

.

Stepping into her presence,

words fall away.

She hangs in gentle stillness,

inviting me to do the same.

She does not speak,

yet I hear her…

in the breath that leaves

and returns

As coolness on my skin.

.

My heart prays,

not as petition,

but as communion.

Something primal stirs

a memory older than thought

movements of life long ago

echoing in this moment:

ancient

luminous,

wild.

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Steven Barbery's avatar

"my heart prays, not as petition, but as communion". It is such a a powerful phrase... I will be thinking of my heart praying as communion.

Thank you for sharing

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Christian Totty's avatar

Day #3: Ritual

In that gentle

hush of early light

the Sun radiates

through the lush green

limbs of elder trees, and

caresses the lungs of

your star-brown skin.

Remember this illumination,

this miracle of time.

This is how you know

your are immaculately loved.

Seek this wholly moment daily in

the emerging ritual of creation

let it enter the mind of

your heart.

Your heart

is a remedy.

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Korie's avatar

Often throughout my day, I remember my morning quiet time, thinking back on its peacefulness and revelation. You’ve captured that here.

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

I love this Christian! “This is how you know/you are immaculately loved.” What a joy and a peace to read those words. Your poem s a true gift. Thank you!

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Katie Spring's avatar

"praying love over lunchboxes" ❤️ I love this, Kaitlin! This prompt sparked a reflection on making fires:

To Make A Fire

First, gather supplies:

A pile of kindling – birch bark, pine cones, newspaper, torn pieces of old wax boxes

Gather a handful of slender sticks you split with the axe and

An armful of logs from the woodpile you spent days stacking

Clean out the ash box

for a proper draft – even

fire needs air to breathe

and ignite

Next, place the kindling

in the center of the firebox

build a fort of sticks around it

strike a match close

to the heart and watch as

the kindling sparks and

the sticks light

when you hear the crackle

gently add a few logs

it’s the logs that will carry

warmth through the night

Don’t walk away too soon –

you must tend the growing

warmth. Fire needs your

attention, needs you to notice

when to feed it

It might need more kindling,

might need you to reach in with a metal

poker to rearrange the logs

And as you tend, you’re warmed

As you care, you consider how

a reminder is embedded in

the word kindling:

kind, kin

that light and warmth

come from connection

that we belong to each other,

so may be we kind

we belong to each other,

so may we remember

how this fire started

long before our birth –

with a tree that sprouted and

took in rain, sent out roots

unfurled leaves in sunlight,

shaded birds and squirrels

deer and coyote

before trying on the colors

of fire: oranges, reds, golden

yellows sweeping across autumn

hillsides before letting go, dropping

leaves to the ground to become

soil and nourishment for

the next cycle

And now here you are,

here I am,

tending the fire

a ritual of care

that lets us say:

Yes, come in

and warm yourself.

Yes, come in and have

some tea by the fire

Here, I have a stack

of seed catalogs

let’s open

and dream of all

we’ll grow together

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

This is a beautiful poem, Katie! Taking a task like starting and tending a fire and drawing a lovely portrait of not only the mechanics but the spiritual and emotional elements of doing everyday things well. I love each stanza of this remarkable poem. It reminds day in a way of some of the poems of one of my favorite poets, Gary Snyder. Beautiful work, Katie!

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kate gardiner clearlight's avatar

so, so beautiful 💔 a journey through time and space

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Larry Brickner-Wood's avatar

“A Swivel to face the rising sun/the angle changing with the seasons…” What sparkling words in this lovely poem. I like that sitting in the same chair with only a shift or directional turn is able to change perspective, function, purpose or all the above. Thank you Margaret!

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