In my tent

Under stars

Quivering legs

So exhausted

But what if there

is a bear outside

who’ll tear into our tent

and crush our skulls?

Or perhaps a saber-toothed tiger

or even a mammoth

casually trampling?

I’m too terrified to sleep out here

night after night,

month after month,

Yet I do.

Each night I face my primal fears

and lay down under the ripstop plastic

and trust.

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I really love that last line. And I feel it!

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Today it feels like terror is winning.

It feels like the power hoarders

who choose and maintain








are winning.

It feels like the awakening of universal consciousness is happening too slowly.

How many more lives must be taken?

How much more suffering can we bare?

Today the terror brings overwhelming grief and despair.

Will the terror ever end?

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“It feels like the awakening of universal consciousness is happening too slowly.” Yes.

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The storyteller takes a pause, a breath,

letting the terror of the moment

sink in their stomachs, empty weight.

“And what happens then?” they question,

unsatisfied. The storyteller sits quiet,

waiting for the words to come,

praying this is only the middle

of the story.

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May 25, 2022·edited May 25, 2022

Millennia ago,

it was given names

as gods



but then after


at the Resurrection

it rebranded as

powers and principalities

surviving through

a violent world

appearing at times


as empires

rise and fall;


revolt and

hold "civil" wars;


reform and split.

but that is not


it always demands

violent sacrifice

on it's altar

it rebrands


It goes into

smaller communities,




generations of



feed this


aren't willing to


our "rights" to guns

because the odds are

"in our favor".

others people's

children, parents, grandparents

are fitting sacrifice

so it gets rebranded again.

in all that

death, blood

tears, pain

I see the truth.

I know where the

temple to this god


Knowing where it is,

it can be stopped

more will be sacrificed

before it is

thoughts and prayers

won't change that.

we can

we must

we will

one day

partner with




to end it

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Oh, Steven, my heart needed this. Thank you.

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You're welcome. I am glad it helped of even a little

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I live near Sandy Hook

45 minutes from where

A nation, a state, a community

Is irrevocably scarred

By terror

I work at an elementary school

In a “safe, wealthy, suburb”

But nowhere is safe anymore

From Terror

Terror is always at the fringes

Fear is always on the border

Of my mind


I choose to live my day in grace

And in compassion and empathy

And mindfulness and laughter

And hugs and “thumbs up”

And if I should die by Terror

I will have lived by Love

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I need more than a few moments with, “And if I should die by Terror, I will have loved by Love.” So powerful and exactly how I want to live. Thank you, Diane.

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You're welcome. <3

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I read the headlines, and sometimes,

it doesn't hit me right away.

There have been so many like them,

so very many,

and I'm so tired.

Aren't we all tired of this?

It feels easier

to not feel it all at once,

but that does a disservice

to those who have no choice.

To those who are waking up today,

in the wake of gun violence,

without their loved ones.

To those who aren't waking today at all.

To those who may not wake tomorrow

if those in power continue to offer nothing

but "thoughts and prayers."

This isn't supposed to happen.

It isn't supposed to be this way.

It doesn't have to be this way.

How quickly would it change

if those in power felt this terror,

felt it all at once,

had no choice but to feel it?

How is it that power and money and greed

can cause someone to forget their humanity?

To forget how to feel, so much,

that they'd rather offer empty platitudes

than to act to ensure

that this never happens again?

Today, I'm waking up with my babies,

and desperately aching

for those who aren't,

and desperately angry,

because it didn't have to be this way.

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Held hostage

by a few fat, cruel, ignorant


who grip power


Beautiful Human Beings

In their care

will die

“It can’t be helped,” they say

as they count their money

and track their power with the corrupt

Terror works well for them

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You don't care.

you bring him just to spread more.

thru the eyes, the ears,

You don't care.

straight to the soul you go.

and you stay and stay and stay and stay and stay and stay and stay and stay and stay and stay,

always always lurking for a replay.

You don't care.


Selfish Pig.


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Today’s run brought me by

Elementary school kids at the bus stop

Running to and fro as they always do

Recognizing faces, I spoke with some moms.

On the road again, I wondered how they were

Really feeling.

The path I ran today continued by more students.

Eagerly walking with their teachers to a day at the local playground.

Ready for fun.

Ready for freedom.

On the move.

Ready to be kids.

Tugs at my heart brought my run through the middle & high school parking lot.

Examining the full parking lot, I prayed for teachers, staff & students.

Reflecting on their lives.

Requesting protection and safety

On them, over them, around them.

Realizing I have no idea what they need.

The track is where I

End up. To

Rage and

Rest through sprints and jogs.

Over and over…rage & rest…rage & rest.

Retuning home, I’ve not solved the problems, I’ve barely scraped the surface, but I’ve moved, breathed, yelled, prayed and spent time in my community. And that is where I feel hope today.

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Thank you, Jennifer. “Rage and rest.”

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If only others knew how to deal with their pain, sorrow, and rage on healthy ways maybe their would be less reason to be have pain, sorrow, and rage.

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More deaths than days

Committed by grown men who

Praise violence,

We bury our dead

Bless the dying in silence

Shed tears that tear through a heart

A community, a world

On this, the anniversary

of a terror.

How de we contain our furor,

keep making sense of

Something so senseless,

we the defenseless,

The heartbroken,

The enraged

Like candles burning, emblazed

Maybe our anger is to


Maybe our embers glitter


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Love has been the answer

Love is our only hope

Love will prevail over hate, terror, guns, racism, colonization, otherism, murder, slavery and persecution of all shapes and forms.

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Split wide open

Ripped, violated, subdued, trashed, shot, overpowered


Suffer, just suffer, more than you can imagine, suffer.

You are powerless.

Be afraid, be in terror.

Have no power, it has been strangled from you.

Cry, tremble, cower.

This is terror and it is beyond hope, beyond God.

Or is it?

If there is a god, that god must be with you and I

even when there is terror afoot.

And this God must give us vision and power and resistance and resilience

And courage and imagination for better; for love.

For love and hope stronger even than terror; for Life

out and stronger than death.

Terror: Awful, Awful, agonizingly awful, gut-wrenching.

But not the last world.

Love and hope still, even in the presence of terror, Abide.

They must abide. God helps us! Love and hope must abide.

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Terror: the experience of our brothers and sisters in Ukraine, wondering if their home is the next; to be bombed;

Terror: the fear of the child who is being abused by someone who is supposed to love them; listening, quivering for sounds that it is about happen once again;

Terror: the children forced to participate in shooter drills who jump when a car backfires;

Terror: the horror that our politicians keep accepting money from gun lobbies;

Terror: the fear within each and every marginalized group that there are few places they can feel safe.

Terror: allowing hope to die by apathy and inaction.

Terror: that lonely feeling of impending doom because no one stood up!

Stand Upo!

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Terror is omnipresent.

My soul is heavy


The weight of this grief.

Exhaustion starts to set in

But, damn, if I am not going to let terror

take away my spirit.

An exhausted spirit

But living, breathing.

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This one knocked me out— powerful!

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I just have rage mixed with sadness!

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