God
Everything changed for me
when I stopped seeking
a god outside of me…
when god was the only
thing sacred.
Now I seek the Divine
within me
leading me back to Self…
the Self that is connected to
and apart of all things.
When I catch glimpses
of the Divine here
I can see the Divine everywhere…
within every human and
the diverse expressions of our humanity
within a sunrise
in the trees whether naked and bare
or full of spring leaves
in the clear blue sky and
the slow moving clouds
in the wild Plants all around
and in their Medicine forms
in a plate of food
a steaming cup of coffee
in the red soil composting
the dead stumps
in the cycles of death and life
and the accompanying suffering
Suddenly…
every part of me knows
everything is Sacred.
God came to me one day
as a squirrel.
He plunked down on the porch railing
outside my open window and began
chewing a walnut,
contented.
I couldn’t look away
from his shiny black eyes
and the muttering scrape of his teeth on the shell.
Incarnation is anywhere,
even in a squirrel.
Penance is a highway
on an all day drive,
I count out decades
of a rosary like mile markers
studded along the horizon. God, I feel
like we’ve been on this road
for decades- You, sitting shotgun,
splitting snacks,
swapping stories,
wind from cracked windows
rippling the paper
map in Your hands.
I’m tired of sing-a-longs
and picking fights,
at times roaring louder
than the engine,
that horizon is eternally
ahead. I am exhausted. And God,
You take my hand, open
on the middle seat in Your own,
no more talk of sins and signs,
right now all we are
is shared silence
for the next few miles.
Heat the drum beat?
It’s the pulse of creator everywhere
Feel the vibrations within you and everything
See the stars?
You are small, and God is big
Feel at home, you have a place here
See all the religions and skeptics
Good with God
Feel God’s Spirit washing upon all shores.
See Jesus?
I do, but you don’t have to.
But if you do, please just feel his love.
The harder I tried to understand and know
the God that I was taught to believe in,
the more I realized how very little
I understood and knew at all.
They told me if I studied,
and committed myself,
it would all be clear.
So I committed,
studied,
learned -
questioned.
And it became clear
that if such a being exists,
They are the farthest thing from
the one that I'd been taught to fear.
I am still committed to seeking the divine,
but now I find it in others, and within myself.
....push.....pushpushpushpushpush.
Dang it.
Look,
you said you love me.
you said you give me strength.
SO:
C'mon, man.
stop screwing around.
git your
BIG.
FAT.
GOD.
ASS.
in my freakin' god box.
NOW.
I'm late for a meeting.
(inspired by "naked pastor" cartoon)
Your words nearly brought me to tears, Kaitlin! And I don't cry very often!
In all honesty, your name doesn't tell me
that much about you.
How can
your love in creation
-your first act-
explain who you are?
Red for the glorious dahlia on my front porch
Orange for the monarch's wing
Yellow for the earth's star that warms us
Green for vegetation that nourishes
Blue for the expanse of sky that covers my home
Purple for the lilac that carries memories of my childhood
I have this memory of
Spreading my arms out wide
And running and running
While above me
A flock of birds flew in the same direction
I looked up
Gazed at their charcoal feathers
Mimicked their caws
And felt free
Free as a bird
Young-Me saw God in all of Nature
All of the time.
Middle-Me danced between Devotion and Avoidance
Now-Me?
I see God again.
Yes, in Nature.
But also in some people too.
The Sacred is within us all.
The Sacred is told in our stories.
As the meta prayer says:
The Light in me honors
The Light in you
Our ancestors had other ways to praise
That which
creates
sustains
connects.
-
Each of them (and us) unique miracles.
Here, and only now.
Each of us a line in the Poem being written by Love.
God - an unexpected haiku
He who is always
Out there, somewhere, up above
In pain, moves closer
As someone
who is
seeking, asking, knocking
diligently
earnestly
Scripture reveals more
of it is viewed from
other perspectives
Prayer feels different
between
praise
and
groans
Creation amazes
from the
belly of the big fish
even if it is
built for war
That experience
pointed me further
as part of a calling
that still unfolds
still confounds
BUT
still urges me
onward
through a dark night
(is it still a "night" of it lasts years?)
I discover you
in new ways
that I increasingly
understand
through my
native spirituality
and Hebrew Scriptures
that shape my
view of
life
encountering you (again)
one day
when you build your
shekinah
among us
God,
these metaphors were terrible
I grew up knowing you as above,
Beyond, out there, a ragey dad
Waiting for the first chance to punish
I still think of you like this.
And then we share silence again
I remember that my perceptions
Are so often inaccurate
I remember the Divine is hidden inside me
In my son's smile,
In the light peaking through trees
In an ocean, and the blissful breeze
In curiosity and doubt
The gentleness I practice on myself
And I become unafraid
Until I forget,
Here we are,
Always forgetting,
and repairing again.
Massive
Unexpected
Loving-so loving that my human heart cannot imagine
Creator-you gave me the capacity to co-create with you
With me
With you
With all of us
Is there really a word or words to describe you
They/We have lied about you and you love us still
They/We had no idea that your love is who you are
YOU ARE LOVE
Abundant nothing.
Vacuum. Space void. Avoiding
eye contact. Relief.
as a self-identified
‘Professional God Person’
many look to me
for definition
experience
and feelings
relating to
and helping others
to see
to feel
to gain deeper insight
and to experience
God’s presence at work in the world.
yet
far more often
others help me
to gain deeper insight.
for example
at a meeting
at the local high school
with the SaGa* club
when a student spoke words like this**
‘I’m not a faith person,
but
if God made us,
in God’s image,
male and female,
then isn’t God non-binary?’
the divine
the holy one
present
in you and in me
looking like
you and me
looking like us
ever discovering
ever transforming
into a being
that invites us
into relationship
with God
with one another.
*Sexuality and Gender Alliance
**as best as I remember the words this student shared
Thanks to you Kaitlin and your words in Native, I feel deeply blessed every time I hear or read "Great Mystery".
Thanks to Julia Cameron and The Artist's Way, I'm comfortable with G.O.D. Good Orderly Direction. Restoring my comfort with God was a healing journey.
Everything changed for me
when I stopped seeking
a god outside of me…
when god was the only
thing sacred.
Now I seek the Divine
within me
leading me back to Self…
the Self that is connected to
and apart of all things.
When I catch glimpses
of the Divine here
I can see the Divine everywhere…
within every human and
the diverse expressions of our humanity
within a sunrise
in the trees whether naked and bare
or full of spring leaves
in the clear blue sky and
the slow moving clouds
in the wild Plants all around
and in their Medicine forms
in a plate of food
a steaming cup of coffee
in the red soil composting
the dead stumps
in the cycles of death and life
and the accompanying suffering
Suddenly…
every part of me knows
everything is Sacred.
God came to me one day
as a squirrel.
He plunked down on the porch railing
outside my open window and began
chewing a walnut,
contented.
I couldn’t look away
from his shiny black eyes
and the muttering scrape of his teeth on the shell.
Incarnation is anywhere,
even in a squirrel.
Penance is a highway
on an all day drive,
I count out decades
of a rosary like mile markers
studded along the horizon. God, I feel
like we’ve been on this road
for decades- You, sitting shotgun,
splitting snacks,
swapping stories,
wind from cracked windows
rippling the paper
map in Your hands.
I’m tired of sing-a-longs
and picking fights,
at times roaring louder
than the engine,
that horizon is eternally
ahead. I am exhausted. And God,
You take my hand, open
on the middle seat in Your own,
no more talk of sins and signs,
right now all we are
is shared silence
for the next few miles.
Heat the drum beat?
It’s the pulse of creator everywhere
Feel the vibrations within you and everything
See the stars?
You are small, and God is big
Feel at home, you have a place here
See all the religions and skeptics
Good with God
Feel God’s Spirit washing upon all shores.
See Jesus?
I do, but you don’t have to.
But if you do, please just feel his love.
The harder I tried to understand and know
the God that I was taught to believe in,
the more I realized how very little
I understood and knew at all.
They told me if I studied,
and committed myself,
it would all be clear.
So I committed,
studied,
learned -
questioned.
And it became clear
that if such a being exists,
They are the farthest thing from
the one that I'd been taught to fear.
I am still committed to seeking the divine,
but now I find it in others, and within myself.
....push.....pushpushpushpushpush.
Dang it.
Look,
you said you love me.
Look,
you said you give me strength.
SO:
C'mon, man.
stop screwing around.
git your
BIG.
FAT.
GOD.
ASS.
in my freakin' god box.
NOW.
I'm late for a meeting.
(inspired by "naked pastor" cartoon)
Your words nearly brought me to tears, Kaitlin! And I don't cry very often!
In all honesty, your name doesn't tell me
that much about you.
How can
your love in creation
-your first act-
explain who you are?
Red for the glorious dahlia on my front porch
Orange for the monarch's wing
Yellow for the earth's star that warms us
Green for vegetation that nourishes
Blue for the expanse of sky that covers my home
Purple for the lilac that carries memories of my childhood
God
I have this memory of
Spreading my arms out wide
And running and running
While above me
A flock of birds flew in the same direction
I looked up
Gazed at their charcoal feathers
Mimicked their caws
And felt free
Free as a bird
Young-Me saw God in all of Nature
All of the time.
Middle-Me danced between Devotion and Avoidance
Now-Me?
I see God again.
Yes, in Nature.
But also in some people too.
The Sacred is within us all.
The Sacred is told in our stories.
As the meta prayer says:
The Light in me honors
The Light in you
Our ancestors had other ways to praise
That which
creates
sustains
connects.
-
Each of them (and us) unique miracles.
Here, and only now.
-
Each of us a line in the Poem being written by Love.
God - an unexpected haiku
He who is always
Out there, somewhere, up above
In pain, moves closer
As someone
who is
seeking, asking, knocking
diligently
earnestly
Scripture reveals more
of it is viewed from
other perspectives
Prayer feels different
between
praise
and
groans
Creation amazes
from the
belly of the big fish
even if it is
built for war
That experience
pointed me further
as part of a calling
that still unfolds
still confounds
BUT
still urges me
onward
through a dark night
(is it still a "night" of it lasts years?)
I discover you
in new ways
that I increasingly
understand
through my
native spirituality
and Hebrew Scriptures
that shape my
view of
life
encountering you (again)
one day
when you build your
shekinah
among us
God,
these metaphors were terrible
I grew up knowing you as above,
Beyond, out there, a ragey dad
Waiting for the first chance to punish
I still think of you like this.
And then we share silence again
I remember that my perceptions
Are so often inaccurate
I remember the Divine is hidden inside me
In my son's smile,
In the light peaking through trees
In an ocean, and the blissful breeze
In curiosity and doubt
The gentleness I practice on myself
And I become unafraid
Until I forget,
Here we are,
Always forgetting,
and repairing again.
God
Massive
Unexpected
Loving-so loving that my human heart cannot imagine
Creator-you gave me the capacity to co-create with you
With me
With you
With all of us
Is there really a word or words to describe you
They/We have lied about you and you love us still
They/We had no idea that your love is who you are
YOU ARE LOVE
Abundant nothing.
Vacuum. Space void. Avoiding
eye contact. Relief.
as a self-identified
‘Professional God Person’
many look to me
for definition
experience
and feelings
relating to
and helping others
to see
to feel
to gain deeper insight
and to experience
God’s presence at work in the world.
yet
far more often
others help me
to see
to feel
to gain deeper insight.
for example
at a meeting
at the local high school
with the SaGa* club
when a student spoke words like this**
‘I’m not a faith person,
but
if God made us,
in God’s image,
male and female,
then isn’t God non-binary?’
God
the divine
the holy one
present
in you and in me
looking like
you and me
looking like us
ever discovering
ever transforming
into a being
that invites us
into relationship
with God
and
with one another.
*Sexuality and Gender Alliance
**as best as I remember the words this student shared
Thanks to you Kaitlin and your words in Native, I feel deeply blessed every time I hear or read "Great Mystery".
Thanks to Julia Cameron and The Artist's Way, I'm comfortable with G.O.D. Good Orderly Direction. Restoring my comfort with God was a healing journey.