Yes Kaitlin! The retreat sounds wonderful—I wish I could come along! Thank you for sharing your gifts and encouraging others to do so. The human subversion of religion, especially christianity, to support decidedly anti-Christ-like institutions and causes like slavery, colonization, and christian nationalism (which is neither Christ-following nor good for our nation) makes me angry. Counteracting it feels overwhelming. There are so many flavors of hurt in the world. That feels overwhelming too. Yet, I do believe if we each do our bit, share the Gifts we possess, together we can make a difference. Maybe others will find encouragement in what I wrote the other day:
On Those Days
On Those Days
When it all feels like too much
When I can see hurt around me
Expanding like
Ripples
Out and
Out and
Out
To the limit of my vision
The pain of those close to me
Looms Large,
The pain in my coummunity
The nation
The world…
So much suffering piling on
And on.
It just
Won’t
Stop.
I am only one person.
I can’t make things better.
I can’t fix it.
I am limited in my energy and abilities.
I don’t know what to do or how to help!
I am bereft
I am sinking
Sad to my core.
But
I can pray.
I can cry out to God!
I can open my broken heart when I don’t know what to pray and ask
The Spirit
To intercede with groans too deep for words.
I can shift my focus from
The circumstances
Making my heart ache
To what
GOD IS doing in this present moment.
Even a seemingly small thing—
A refreshing breeze or
A much needed hug or
Birdsong or
The warm presence and adoring eyes of a beloved, snuggling dog or
Sun shining through leaves or
The laughter of a child or
Flowers exquisitely blooming and freely offering themselves or
A friend showing up….
The shift in focus
Lifts
Me
Up,
Saves me from sinking into a angry sea,
And drowning,
And being no use to anyone.
Like Peter and Jesus walking on water back to the boat
Together,
When I shift my focus to God,
My inabilities, failings, and insignificance lose their importance.
It is GOD’s Love filling me, flowing through me,
Filling and flowing through
ALL True Believers
To the hurting world,
That will make the difference!
Imagine if
Each of us acting as some part of Jesus’ body,
Demonstrated our love for God by loving others,
By seeking Justice,
Loving kindness,
And walking humbly with God,
By living lives of love
And extending hands of
Grace and help rather than
Fingers of judgement and condemnation.
It’s messy.
It’s difficult.
It’s scary,
It’s exhausting, and we won’t always get it right.
Shifting focus expands my vision to the
Full Truth—
GOD IS with us,
With ME!
That Full Truth
That Fuller Perspective,
Breathes Hope
Buoys me back up above the waves,
Bolsters my love and empathy with
God’s Strength and Compassion.
On Those Days
When it feels like too much for ME,
It helps to remind myself
Again
That it IS too much for me
BUT the Overriding Truth is
GOD’s Love is more powerful than any force in heaven or earth!
Thank you for these words, Kaitlin. I have been thinking about gifts as well and how to claim my own without feeling the pressure to claim someone else's.
Hi Kaitlin, I'm so excited to be coming to Northern Ireland on the retreat! I studied abroad in Derry in 2008, with a focus on peace and conflict studies. I'm really looking forward to returning, digging deeper into the history and conversations there, and deepening my own practice of storytelling and writing.
Thank you so much for this. So timely. The other night I was laying on my living room floor trying to stretch the tension out of my neck after a long day working as a care worker and expressing many of these same feelings to my partner.... That my actions are not enough, but I lack the capacity to do more.... That I'm trying to follow my heart and thinking carefully about what steps to take to meet the needs of my communities, but feel like there is always someone, somewhere in the world telling me to do it differently to be more effective. Reminding myself that what is most effective for their time and place might not be the same as what is true for mine.
That retreat sounds amazing. Unfortunately I am not in a position to make such a trip but I know it will be wonderful.
I have been setting aside five to ten minutes every night for honest reflection. I’m entering a new season and job in a the same old community and I have to be very careful and curated in my public posts now. And I can’t decide if that makes me disingenuous or if what I posted before was just performative anyway. So I’m struggling a bit with that.
Yes Kaitlin! The retreat sounds wonderful—I wish I could come along! Thank you for sharing your gifts and encouraging others to do so. The human subversion of religion, especially christianity, to support decidedly anti-Christ-like institutions and causes like slavery, colonization, and christian nationalism (which is neither Christ-following nor good for our nation) makes me angry. Counteracting it feels overwhelming. There are so many flavors of hurt in the world. That feels overwhelming too. Yet, I do believe if we each do our bit, share the Gifts we possess, together we can make a difference. Maybe others will find encouragement in what I wrote the other day:
On Those Days
On Those Days
When it all feels like too much
When I can see hurt around me
Expanding like
Ripples
Out and
Out and
Out
To the limit of my vision
The pain of those close to me
Looms Large,
The pain in my coummunity
The nation
The world…
So much suffering piling on
And on.
It just
Won’t
Stop.
I am only one person.
I can’t make things better.
I can’t fix it.
I am limited in my energy and abilities.
I don’t know what to do or how to help!
I am bereft
I am sinking
Sad to my core.
But
I can pray.
I can cry out to God!
I can open my broken heart when I don’t know what to pray and ask
The Spirit
To intercede with groans too deep for words.
I can shift my focus from
The circumstances
Making my heart ache
To what
GOD IS doing in this present moment.
Even a seemingly small thing—
A refreshing breeze or
A much needed hug or
Birdsong or
The warm presence and adoring eyes of a beloved, snuggling dog or
Sun shining through leaves or
The laughter of a child or
Flowers exquisitely blooming and freely offering themselves or
A friend showing up….
The shift in focus
Lifts
Me
Up,
Saves me from sinking into a angry sea,
And drowning,
And being no use to anyone.
Like Peter and Jesus walking on water back to the boat
Together,
When I shift my focus to God,
My inabilities, failings, and insignificance lose their importance.
It is GOD’s Love filling me, flowing through me,
Filling and flowing through
ALL True Believers
To the hurting world,
That will make the difference!
Imagine if
Each of us acting as some part of Jesus’ body,
Demonstrated our love for God by loving others,
By seeking Justice,
Loving kindness,
And walking humbly with God,
By living lives of love
And extending hands of
Grace and help rather than
Fingers of judgement and condemnation.
It’s messy.
It’s difficult.
It’s scary,
It’s exhausting, and we won’t always get it right.
Shifting focus expands my vision to the
Full Truth—
GOD IS with us,
With ME!
That Full Truth
That Fuller Perspective,
Breathes Hope
Buoys me back up above the waves,
Bolsters my love and empathy with
God’s Strength and Compassion.
On Those Days
When it feels like too much for ME,
It helps to remind myself
Again
That it IS too much for me
BUT the Overriding Truth is
GOD’s Love is more powerful than any force in heaven or earth!
NOTHING
Is too much for
GOD WITH US!
©️Joanna Baker Caldwell 2024
Thank you so much for this offering. :):)
Thank you for these words, Kaitlin. I have been thinking about gifts as well and how to claim my own without feeling the pressure to claim someone else's.
💕
Hi Kaitlin, I'm so excited to be coming to Northern Ireland on the retreat! I studied abroad in Derry in 2008, with a focus on peace and conflict studies. I'm really looking forward to returning, digging deeper into the history and conversations there, and deepening my own practice of storytelling and writing.
Amazing! So glad you'll be joining us!
Thank you so much for this. So timely. The other night I was laying on my living room floor trying to stretch the tension out of my neck after a long day working as a care worker and expressing many of these same feelings to my partner.... That my actions are not enough, but I lack the capacity to do more.... That I'm trying to follow my heart and thinking carefully about what steps to take to meet the needs of my communities, but feel like there is always someone, somewhere in the world telling me to do it differently to be more effective. Reminding myself that what is most effective for their time and place might not be the same as what is true for mine.
That retreat sounds amazing. Unfortunately I am not in a position to make such a trip but I know it will be wonderful.
I have been setting aside five to ten minutes every night for honest reflection. I’m entering a new season and job in a the same old community and I have to be very careful and curated in my public posts now. And I can’t decide if that makes me disingenuous or if what I posted before was just performative anyway. So I’m struggling a bit with that.