3 Ways to Reclaim our Humanity

the problem with putting ourselves on display

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Throughout college up until I became pregnant with my first child, I worked at Pier 1 Imports. As far as working in retail goes, I enjoyed selling items in a store that was all about making the home cozy, and, as far as retail goes, I hated asking customers to sign up for credit cards they didn’t need, which, in the end, was one of the reasons I chose to leave.

Something that was constantly happening in the store, was, of course, the changing of the seasons. Summer, Spring (Easter), Autumn (Harvest, Halloween, Thanksgiving), Winter (Christmas, Hanukkah) and everything in between called for a change in the store’s displays. And with that, whatever was sure to catch the customer's eye was front and center.

We knew that, from the marketing standpoint, if we caught the customers as soon as they walked into the store (with a greeting and a good display) they were more likely to buy something—and most of the time, it worked. All those late nights and early mornings, all that hard work, transformed the whole place and played into the ever-changing world of marketing.

I was in Target the other day, the store where we come for two things and leave with thirty—because their marketing, their displays, the way they catch the customer is so often spot on. I examined the Autumn display at the front of the store, remembering my time in retail, thinking about what the power of a first impression is.

So, of course, I’m now thinking about us humans, what we display to each other front and center when our own inner seasons change. What do we want each other to see on social media, on the morning walk, in the grocery line, or at dinner? What are we putting on display, and we afraid to show our true selves?

Here’s the problem, though: human beings aren’t sales items, and we aren’t meant to be put on display.

But we live in a society that has made us just that—a product to each other, from our social media posts to our homes to our clothes and our self-care practices. What belongs to just us? Who are we performing for? How can we change the systems around us to become less product-driven? How can we reclaim our own humanity?

I can think of 3 ways to disrupt this “display mentality”:

1. Experiment with silence. I recently came to the conclusion that, at least lately, I don’t have much to say on social media, and instead of feeling bad about that, I am asking what that silence can teach me, who else I can listen to, and what I might learn on the other side of the silence. This isn’t about being silenced, so much as choosing silence. You can practice this by logging off social media every now and then to simply be with yourself, and see what happens. What do you learn in those spaces? What words form inside you in that day-to-day experience?

2. Practice rest as a birthright. One of the best ways we can fight the status quo of severe productivity and consumerism is to redefine what rest is to us and then to put it into practice. Consider that rest is part of being human, that it belongs to you and your body, and that resting will help you become more tethered to yourself and then, as a result, to those around you.

3. Choose safe companions. Defying the status quo of society is difficult. Choosing it for ourselves, examining how we do it with the varying layers of exposure and privilege that we possess, should be done with those we trust. Think of one to three friends who really know you, who you can trust, and ask them how to go on the journey together. How can we, alongside our companions, fully claim the messiness of an ever-changing life?

I’d love to know how you fight display mentality. How do you embody rest, silence, and companionship? Tell us about the journey you’re on in the comments section below.

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Onward, friends, together.