Self-Love & Fortune Cookies

to a lifelong process of care

Today’s message is short and sweet: when we are tired of caring for ourselves, the universe finds ways to remind us that it matters—what a gift. This week I shared my first post for paid subscribers! If you’d like to become a paid subscriber and get extra essays, poems, and notes from my personal journals in your inbox, click here. I’m so glad we are in this together.

Damn these fortune cookies. Sometimes they say something that makes absolutely no sense to anyone, and sometimes they hit you with the truth you didn’t know you were waiting for.

I would love to tell you that as an author who writes on the journey of decolonization through community, care and self-love, I’d have the daily rhythms of this down.

But, I don’t.

The thing about self-love is that it is a constant ebb and flow, because how long do we think it should take to unlearn all those messages we’ve been given?

To pull ourselves up by our bootstraps

To embrace ableism in all its forms

To deny our bodies what they need

To listen to others instead of ourselves

To believe that individualism is the best way

To think we can’t share our struggles

To shame our bodies for being tired or hungry

To think no ones else cares

To believe that care is selfish

To think our child selves can’t still be cared for

And so much more

So of course a fortune cookie with a message of kindness brings me to tears, as any kindness does, really.

The world is heavy right now, and we continue to deal with generational, personal, and communal trauma every single day, which means the rawness is always there. Sometimes that means we put care for ourselves last. And that always, always hurts us most.

Here’s what sometimes happens: we get tired of caring for ourselves, as sad as that sounds, and when we do, we first remind ourselves to go gently. Go gently, dear one. Self-care is not selfish. You deserve beautiful thoughts. Loving yourself is your birthright.

So trust that on those days when we don’t remind ourselves enough that our care matters, the universe will find ways to tell us, whether it’s through a cuddle with a puppy, a quiet walk on an autumn day, or a fortune cookie meant just for us.