It's My Birthday!
Readying for Autumn, day 5
Friends,
Today I am 35 years old. It’s an emotional, lovely kind of birthday, one that feels particularly visceral and honest. It’s just…me. I am who I am at this moment, in all the questions and wondering. I am who I am becoming, unlearning and learning every single minute, and what better way to celebrate than spending a quiet moment with poetry?
Today I’m opening up the post to all subscribers, and I invite you on this last day of summer, before the world changes and expands around us, to lean into the quiet and ask where it’s leading you. Please share a poem or your thoughts in the comments below! Thank you for being my community.
Today’s quote is a lovely one. I hope it brings you to stillness and expectation of the coming season.
The quote:
"Wild is the music of autumnal winds/Amongst the faded woods."
— William Wordsworth
And today’s question:
How does Autumn engage our senses and bring us home to ourselves?
Fire, Home
I sit by the fire,
waiting.
I wait for my life
to show up.
I'm surprised
when it actually does.
This moment is it,
the thing I've waited for.
I laugh as I feel the breeze
tickle my skin.
I slide my sweater over my head
and wait for the heat.
I stare at the flames,
and they dance.
The dogs circle me,
waiting to play.
They wait and watch
like I am watching.
I don't know what
comes next, but I wait.
I wait, and in the wait
I'm heated by the light.
In the wait, I am fully
alive and well.
In the wait, I realize
that Autumn is the answer.
Autumn is liminal space,
and it brings me home.
I've been waiting for home,
haven't I?
Happy birthday!
My response includes some reflections from day #2 - trees can teach us about the ebbs and flows of community and individuality.
You stand tall and proud, as you do each day.
Today, though, something feels different.
As your leaves dance in the wind, there is an extra pep in their step.
They shimmer and glimmer
bejeweled in the unique yellow tone of you.
All summer you have stood in the collective - sisters is swaths of green providing shade and homes.
Now, still intertwined, you and your sisterhood emerge as individuals.
Your radiance does not diminish that of others,
but rather calls it forth.
Your calm, quiet confidence gives others,
even me,
permission to be fully ourselves while being
fully held by community.
Autumn reminds me of all my senses--from its arrival to its end.
I eagerly await the changing of the leaves. Every morning's drive an observation. Have the tints of red and orange arrived yet?
Campfires mixed with cut grass mixed with the five "fall scented" candles I bought at Aldi. Chrysanthemums.
Soup. All the soup. All the squash. And the pumpkin. And s'mores. And apples.
Shivers in the morning. That particular feeling in the air.
The faint sound of Marching Band practice and football games over the PA system at the high school down the street.
Autumn brings the comfort no other season does.