A 10-step Holiday Embodiment Guide

because this season can be stressful as hell

Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

Friends,

It’s that time of year!

Part of me is so excited to lean into the coziness and care of the holidays, and other parts of me are trying hard to resist the constant bombardment of busy-ness and capitalism that cloaks this entire season.

So today, instead of giving you a gift guide or a list of things to do for the holiday season, I’m sharing a 10-step holiday embodiment guide.

I’m a seasonal being, and don’t really like the idea of “steps” so don’t feel like this is an all-or-nothing process. I recognize that as much as I live season-to-season, I also love a good checklist every now and then (you should see my holiday meal plan!).

Even though I love a good list, I don’t want to add to your to-do list; I want to help us re-examine the to-do list altogether. So look over these ideas, and pick a few, or try them all throughout the end of 2023 and into 2024. It’s your life, your timeline, your season.

We hold liminal space here. It is a time of gathering, feasting, taking care of one another, grieving, asking questions about the systems in place around us, asking if there is an end to war and hate, asking where peace resides.

It’s a deeply sacred time, and that makes it a difficult time, too.

In the midst of this, let’s hold ourselves and each other close.

So, on to our 10-step holiday embodiment guide:

1. Movement through the new year: this is really difficult for those of us traveling to be with friends and loved ones during the holiday season, but it’s important that we practice movement, however that shows up for us. Don't forget to take that extra walk, to stick to your routine as best you can, to give your body care in the midst of the stress. And yes, breathing exercises count!

2. Focus on seasonal changes instead of New Year’s pressure: this is a BIG ONE for me. We march through the end of the year holidays straight into January, where we push a magic button that sometimes motivates, sometimes shames us into creating change that often isn’t sustainable. Instead, examine your life during the natural changing of the seasons, starting with Winter Solstice on December 21st. Make a few goals, but mostly hold space for yourself to keep becoming, to keep growing.

3. Hold grief rituals for a heavy world and a heavy heart: it’s important to hold space for grief during the holidays. For those who have lost loved ones, it’s a time to manage the joy and the pain, to lean into the nostalgia while also dealing with reality. Take time for grief. Mourn for a world that is hurting and broken, where war and genocide still exist. Light a candle daily, noticing the grief and the gratitude that often coincide.

4. Connect with your child self: this is tough one during the holidays, but if I’ve learned anything from releasing a children’s book, it’s that we need to connect with our child selves often, and yes, even during busy seasons. There are two parts to this—play and attention—let your child self come out through curiosity and embracing magic and joy, and pay attention to the ways your child self still needs care.

5. Preset boundaries with coworkers family and friends: this is SO important during the holidays. It’s okay to be prepared! Have a script written out for emails and texts to folks that you need to set boundaries with; have drafts of “I have to say no to this” emails that you can send easily and without shame; practice conversations in your head so that when you’re in those tough situations with toxic people, you know how to safely respond. It’s necessary for this season.

6. Holiday journaling practice and/or other ritual: I’ve shared so many times how much journaling means to me, that I literally have multiple journals for different reasons and seasons. Embrace journaling as we head into the new year. Maybe you have an everyday journal for whatever thoughts come to you, maybe it’s a poetry journal, a “big questions” journal, a grief journal. Make time to sit with your own heart and a cup of coffee or tea and let your mind wander a little.

7. Mood boards and playfulness/creativity: every season I make a mood board. Listen, I am NOT super crafty, but I can handle cutting images and words out of magazines and pasting them to a white board to put in my office. This is a great Winter Solstice practice! What do you hope for in the winter? Get old books or magazines with images, use leaves or other parts of nature, and create something that reminds you of the ways you want to embody the coming season. Be playful. Be curious. Enjoy yourself!

8. Get outside: we escape to the woods during Thanksgiving week. We rock climb, hike, play board games, spend time as a family, and yes, hold a feast as we practice gratitude and care. Getting outside during stressful moments is a beautiful act of embodiment, and reminds us that no matter what kind of calendar year we’ve created for ourselves, Mother Earth still does her thing, and we get to be a part of it.

9. Ask what gift giving is about: I love gift-giving and receiving, it’s one of my favorite things. But even as I get excited about this aspect of the holidays, I have to step back and separate out the kindness and care of giving from the rush, toxicity and madness of consumerism. How can we re-think our gift giving? How can we show others how much we care for them without so much stuff?

10. Remember your resistance practices: head into the new year with your resistance practices still in-tact. I can’t believe that I released two books this year, Living Resistance in March and Winter’s Gifts in October. I am carrying my own gifts and medicine with me into this coming season, reminding myself that my resistance work is words and care, fire and gentleness, a reminder of our liminal humanity. What are your resistance practices, your care, your medicine and gifts? Hold onto them and let them lead you into 2024.

Friends, may we practice embodiment, may we find moments of peace, may we love ourselves, one another, and Mother Earth better and better each and every day, each and every season.

Onward.

Photo by Justin Kauffman on Unsplash

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It has been such an incredible few weeks. Winter’s Gifts came out three weeks ago (!!!), and time flies! There has been so much love and support for my work and celebration of Dani’s life, but there could be so much more.

Please consider ordering Winter’s Gifts for yourself, your friends, the kids in your life, a book to keep on your coffee table or mantle throughout the winter months. Here is a really sweet Amazon review of the book:

You don’t have to be a kid to keep a kid’s book nearby! Winter’s Gifts is a perfect addition to that embodiment practice of connecting to your child self.

There has been celebration around the book as well: it’s been featured on several independent bookstore holiday guides, as well as on RandomHouse and BookRiot!

I’m so excited to see a celebration of winter make its way to more homes, to decolonize the way we think about the holiday season, to ask big questions together.

Please keep:

1. asking your libraries and indie bookshops to carry it

2. ordering it for yourself and friends

3. sharing about it on social media

4. reviewing it online wherever you can

5. celebrating Indigenous voices all year long

Being a writer is about being part of a community, as much as we want to think it isn’t. You’re my reading community, and I’m so, so grateful for you.

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One more thing:

Thank you for supporting me here at the Liminality Journal. For free subscribers, I’m so excited to continue exploring poetry, life, spirituality, and liminality with you.

For paid subscribers, there are some exciting opportunities coming for us to build community and go deeper together. If you’d like to become a paid subscriber, click the button below:

Now, onward to embodiment, friends.